Happy Valentine’s Day!

February 14, 2008

Since I am a real, honest-to-God romance novelist, I should be the go-to gal, on a day like this. I am not just a hopeless romantic. I am a ‘professional’ romantic. I should be packing this blog with suggestions to make your day a little more romantic, and your night a little more special.

Good luck with that. I’m on break.

The truth is, I forgot this was Valentine’s Day. Sure, I had a vague idea. I understood the concept. But it wasn’t until I was pulling out of the driveway this morning taking #2 son to school, and saw my husband heading into the house with a card, a bag of bakery, and a bouquet of flowers, that I remembered I had done absolutely nothing.

Well, not exactly nothing. I’d made an appointment with the accountant to have the taxes done. I am a very pragmatic romantic. No greater love has man (or woman) than to keep an accurate record of business mileage and a file of deducible receipts, and then pull the whole thing together, and have it dealt with in such a way that one’s spouse only has to sign the dotted line and wait for the refund.

Am I winning anyone over?

Ok. But I should do, something romantic. So I was considering my options on the way home. If I knew exactly what he wanted, I’d have stopped off at Cabela’s.

For those of you across the pond, and in various point’s distant: Cabela’s is a sporting goods megastore. If you like hunting or fishing, or wandering around outdoors, you can get everything you need there.

If you know someone who likes the outdoors, but prefer looking at it through the closed window of a hotel with turndown service, Cabela’s is still damn entertaining.

They have a clothing department with styles that are rugged but functional.

They have a cooking department, where you can see demonstrations on how to keep your half grilled elk from falling into your campfire.

Some of them have indoor trout streams, where you can fish, flanked by And taxidermed big game animals. And rooms full of animatronic hunters talking about record size antlers.

And, most importantly, a fudge shop.

It’s like Disneyworld, with a gun rack.

Appropriate. But still not romantic. Romantic would be a trip to Cabela’s “for two.” Well, that would be romantic at casa de dos quesos.

But I decided to go for something more conventional. Mainly, because there was a balloon store right next to the Half Price Books, and the window was decorated with inflatable hearts, and it was starting to snow again. I figured I’d better put two an two together on a Valentine’s gift, and get home before the driveway drifted shut.

So, I bought a card, and an enormous mylar heart, that plays music when you touch it.

It turns out, it plays music, even if you touch it very gently, and the ribbon is slippery, and refuses to stay tied to the passenger seat. And I had an hour’s drive to get home.

So, in front, my Ipod was playing my new favorite playlist, which includes the Dropkick Murphys playing ‘Skinhead on the MBTA’, The Transplants ‘Tall Cans in the Air’, the theme from the movie ‘Halloween’ and Joan Jett and the Black Hearts ‘Cherry Bomb’ and theme from ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show’.

And in the back seat, David Cassidy was singing I THINK I LOVE YOU. BUT WHAT AM I SO AFRAID OF? every time I hit a pothole.

Isn’t it romantic?

PS: If there are any husbands reading this: red roses are nice but generic. If you want to make a statement, give her the flowers that were in her wedding bouquet. Trust me. I’m a professional.

14 responses to “Happy Valentine’s Day!”

  1. oracne says:

    I love The Transplants.

    • admin says:

      I’ve been running alphabetically through the songs on my Ipod, just to see what the mix is like.

      Turns out, it’s seriously distrubed. Show tunes do not mix well with punk rock, and french jazz. I do not appear to have an underlying theme.

      But if you are ever looking for music to have a pattern, try this.

      http://pandora.com/

      You put in a song. And then, it finds you other songs like that one. The only problem with it, is that it won’t let you rewind and replay. Other than that, it’s a hoot.

      • oracne says:

        I have indeed tried Pandora–it’s a lot of fun!

        I like unholy contrasts on mixes. Rammstein to Justin Timberlake amuses me, for example.

        • admin says:

          Rammstein! Also represented on my Ipod, in a limited way.

          The latest weird edition is Punjabi MC. There’s a rap mixed with the Knight Rider theme, and the words are in Punjabi.

          I’m really going mainstream in middle age. When I worked in theater, I used to collect novelty songs, and play them on the shop tape player, as a passive aggressive response to working Saturdays.

          Response to that was mixed. One year, I got half the people I worked with mix tapes, and the other half got earplugs.

  2. oracne says:

    I love The Transplants.

    • admin says:

      I’ve been running alphabetically through the songs on my Ipod, just to see what the mix is like.

      Turns out, it’s seriously distrubed. Show tunes do not mix well with punk rock, and french jazz. I do not appear to have an underlying theme.

      But if you are ever looking for music to have a pattern, try this.

      http://pandora.com/

      You put in a song. And then, it finds you other songs like that one. The only problem with it, is that it won’t let you rewind and replay. Other than that, it’s a hoot.

      • oracne says:

        I have indeed tried Pandora–it’s a lot of fun!

        I like unholy contrasts on mixes. Rammstein to Justin Timberlake amuses me, for example.

        • admin says:

          Rammstein! Also represented on my Ipod, in a limited way.

          The latest weird edition is Punjabi MC. There’s a rap mixed with the Knight Rider theme, and the words are in Punjabi.

          I’m really going mainstream in middle age. When I worked in theater, I used to collect novelty songs, and play them on the shop tape player, as a passive aggressive response to working Saturdays.

          Response to that was mixed. One year, I got half the people I worked with mix tapes, and the other half got earplugs.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Pragmatic Romantic, too

    As the spouse whose entire contribution to annual tax preparation is not losing receipts and signing where necessary, count me among those who feel lifting this burden from my shoulders is romantic.

    Of course, I’m a woman whose “most romantic Christmas present” was an upright vacuum cleaner…but that was because he listened to me and trusted that I meant it when I said I really wanted it, instead of listening to all the other people who said no woman [generic] would want a vacuum cleaner for Christmas.

    Does that make me odd? A little bit…but I think it’s romantic that he embraces the odd instead of trying to scrub it away.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Pragmatic Romantic, too

    As the spouse whose entire contribution to annual tax preparation is not losing receipts and signing where necessary, count me among those who feel lifting this burden from my shoulders is romantic.

    Of course, I’m a woman whose “most romantic Christmas present” was an upright vacuum cleaner…but that was because he listened to me and trusted that I meant it when I said I really wanted it, instead of listening to all the other people who said no woman [generic] would want a vacuum cleaner for Christmas.

    Does that make me odd? A little bit…but I think it’s romantic that he embraces the odd instead of trying to scrub it away.

  5. cherryredd says:

    But giving your sweetie the flowers from your wedding would require you to:

    1) Remember what they were

    2) find out what they were–which requires work (digging up old photos, calling a female relative, etc.)

    3) order them ahead of time rather than just pick up on of the ready bouquets available at every store. 🙂

    I think I’d be angry if he paid full price for a fancy bouquet of fire and ice roses (we actually had roses as our wedding flowers) since they jack the price of them up so high for V-day. The shorter-stemmed ready-bouquets from the store or Proflowers.com are fine with me on an expensive holiday, but don’t forget my card. I must have a card.

  6. cherryredd says:

    But giving your sweetie the flowers from your wedding would require you to:

    1) Remember what they were

    2) find out what they were–which requires work (digging up old photos, calling a female relative, etc.)

    3) order them ahead of time rather than just pick up on of the ready bouquets available at every store. 🙂

    I think I’d be angry if he paid full price for a fancy bouquet of fire and ice roses (we actually had roses as our wedding flowers) since they jack the price of them up so high for V-day. The shorter-stemmed ready-bouquets from the store or Proflowers.com are fine with me on an expensive holiday, but don’t forget my card. I must have a card.

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