happy holidays

December 4, 2009

The season has begun.

I made my traditional visit home for Thanksgiving, with the DH driving 3 hours, carrying the whole dinner, duct tape sealed in a series of crock pots. The turkey cooked, overnight in a Nesco roaster.

#2 Son helped with much of the cooking, and baking. This is in part due to Giada De Laurentis (America’s answer to Nigella Lawson). By the time #2 realized that the name of her Food Network special was Thanksgiving Tips (with a P) and Tricks and not something much more interesting to teenage boys, he knew the safe temperature for poultry cooking, and how to recognize and use a mandolin slicer.

We shared the feast with my parents. I spent most of the meal trying to convince my mother that appropriate conversations at the table should not include:

How annoying it is that poor people keep asking for food donations at Christmas (And they expect to eat every day).

A game of guess the grandchildren’s names. (There are two of them. She scored 50%)

That time when I went away to college and she put my dog to sleep. And it cost her fifteen whole dollars. (In her defense, the dog had bitten her, and probably deserved it. But I don’t need to be reminded of it, as she is eating my turkey.)

Since we forgot to bring a beverage, my Father brought out apple juice and orange juice. When we realized that the apple had expired in March, and the orange juice was actually generic Gatorade, #1 son went to the car and got the traditional Merrill family beverage: Coke Zero.

So. Same old, same old.

I have now moved on to Christmas candy. Fudge is cooling in the oven, to keep the dog from poisoning himself. Along side it are the dipped pretzels.

And in the metal live mouse trap, a creature is stirring. Judging by the amount of noise he is making, he is approximately six feet tall. And according to #2, he sounds like he’s playing bongos.

Fluffer, one of our resident mousers, is sitting in the doorway, staring at the trap in disgust.
Don’t put yourself out, Fluff.

2 responses to “happy holidays”

  1. Heidi says:

    Darn. No roll tossing. ~sigh~ But I do enjoy the euthenasia story. Good festive cheer on the holidays! I’m just sad that you’re not also the Chris Merrill the famous dog portraitist that is listed on the google rank when I put in your name. An author AND a painter? I’m a little disappointed 😉

  2. Christine Merrill says:

    Yes, there is nothing quite like euthanasia at the dinner table. It adds that certain something to the Holiday.

    And I am not the painter, although I do know her, after a fashion. We met online, when she Googled our name, and found me.
    She gave my one of my books as a gag gift to her friends at Christmas.

    And I am measuring success by the day I can afford an original Christine Merrill of my dog. She assures me that she does plenty of “gray faced, canine Americans,” and not just ribbon winning purebreds.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *