The seasons have changed!

May 5, 2008

And I have the proof. Since I am allergic to almost everything that you can find sprouting outside, I look at the non-pollen related indicators:

The summer movies are here.

At Christmas time, you get stuff that is good for the family, or stuff that wants an Oscar. Then you get 3 or 4 months of leftovers.

And then, you get stuff that will make money.

In summer movies, everything is big and bright and loud, and lots of stuff blows up. And the heroes are more likely to live to the end, and get the girl. This is important to me, because I am a romance novelist. If I could handle plots where, when the credits roll, everyone is either dead or unhappy? Then I’d be writing in a different genre.

Of the recent crop of worthy films, I am probably the most annoyed with “Atonement.” No, I did not go to see it. I forced other people to spoil the plot for me. From my standpoint, it is about the power of writers to totally hose up people’s lives to the point where no one is happy. Not even the writer. And then, to live on dreams, since there is no way to get ATONEMENT.

Not my cup of tea.

For a while, I had a personal beef with Kristin Scott Thomas. I went to “The English Patient” on my anniversary, when the kids were little and we couldn’t afford to go out often. And I was prepared to revise my standards and enjoy a ‘love story’ (which is different than a romance, from the romance writer’s angle. Mostly because it has an unhappy ending). I went in, planning to get my money’s worth and cry my eyes out. I took extra Kleenex, for God’s sake.

And three hours later, I left dry-eyed, convinced that most of the characters were idiots. The two main characters were in lust, not love. And willing to throw over marriage and morals and country, just to get in some extra humping.

The heroine starts out married to Colin Firth. From a fan of “Pride and Prejudice” this is doing considerably better than all right. This is where the movie is supposed to end. It is not time to trade up. But instead of living happily ever after, poor Colin is reduced to sniveling over this marginally attractive woman, and crashing his plane in one of fiction’s dumbest murder/suicide attempts.

A few years later, there was Kristen again, married to Sam Neill in “The Horse Whisperer”, and ready to throw him over for Robert Redford. Not 70’s Robert Redford, mind you, but the too-much-sun Robert Redford of the 21st century.

Somewhere in the first act of the film, poor Sam Neill had to deliver a speech that was along the lines of ‘You are a pinnacle of womanhood, and I know that I can never give you what you need…” I hate speeches like that. They only show up in stories where the heroine is tragic and misunderstood, and leading an unfulfilled life of quiet desperation. They are there to give the heroine permission to cheat.

And they are not supposed to be coming out of the actor who played “Reilley, Ace of Spies.” I wanted to reach into the film, grab him and give him a good shaking. I wanted to yell, ‘You are Sam, frickin’ Neill. and you don’t have to take this. What is wrong with you? GROW A PAIR.’

As you can see, I get emotional over this.

And it’s just my way of saying:

Go see “Iron Man”. And stay until after the credits for the final scene.

8 responses to “The seasons have changed!”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I didn’t see Atonement, but I read the book. And I will never get those hours (and hours and hours) back.

    • admin says:

      IMHO, Atonement got a whole lot more interesting after Ian McEwan got accused of plagarizing a British romance novelist, while writing it.

      Some people feel that some of the parts about nursing during the Blitz are cribbed from the autobiography of Lucilla Andrews. He gives credit to her for research, but some of his text is rather close to her wording.

      Mostly, I just try to imagine any part of my life that could be made into a major motion picture starring Kiera Knightley.

      So far, not finding anything.

      • melscott says:

        I thought Atonement was very beautifully filmed, structurally interesting and oh god, I have never come closer to throwing something at the screen when it got to the stupid bait and switch ending. And many, many friends have heard me rant about it since. Call me disturbingly literal but a movie called Atonement should actually have some atonement in it. Not just a depressing waste of everyone’s life made more depressing by lack of said atonement.

        Give me a romance any day. Can’t wait to see Robert in Iron Man!

        • admin says:

          Atonement to match the title?

          Oh, you silly.

          The author was trying to “Say something important”. And it would have been cheating to actually come out and give us what he promised on the cover.

          Writing “popular fiction” or as some would call it, TRASH, it would be a major betrayal of the audience if my books were about the exact opposite of the title.

          And frankly, HQ M & B tend to go out of their way to title some of their books like they’re writing nutrition labels on processed food. But if the title says it contains a Greek billionaire, a virgin mistress and a baby?

          They aren’t going to slip you a hobo, a slut, and a puppy, and try to pass it off as an ironic statement on the nature of art and reality.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I didn’t see Atonement, but I read the book. And I will never get those hours (and hours and hours) back.

    • admin says:

      IMHO, Atonement got a whole lot more interesting after Ian McEwan got accused of plagarizing a British romance novelist, while writing it.

      Some people feel that some of the parts about nursing during the Blitz are cribbed from the autobiography of Lucilla Andrews. He gives credit to her for research, but some of his text is rather close to her wording.

      Mostly, I just try to imagine any part of my life that could be made into a major motion picture starring Kiera Knightley.

      So far, not finding anything.

      • melscott says:

        I thought Atonement was very beautifully filmed, structurally interesting and oh god, I have never come closer to throwing something at the screen when it got to the stupid bait and switch ending. And many, many friends have heard me rant about it since. Call me disturbingly literal but a movie called Atonement should actually have some atonement in it. Not just a depressing waste of everyone’s life made more depressing by lack of said atonement.

        Give me a romance any day. Can’t wait to see Robert in Iron Man!

        • admin says:

          Atonement to match the title?

          Oh, you silly.

          The author was trying to “Say something important”. And it would have been cheating to actually come out and give us what he promised on the cover.

          Writing “popular fiction” or as some would call it, TRASH, it would be a major betrayal of the audience if my books were about the exact opposite of the title.

          And frankly, HQ M & B tend to go out of their way to title some of their books like they’re writing nutrition labels on processed food. But if the title says it contains a Greek billionaire, a virgin mistress and a baby?

          They aren’t going to slip you a hobo, a slut, and a puppy, and try to pass it off as an ironic statement on the nature of art and reality.

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